Headlines

Headlines of the Future!

By

on

This was sent to Me and gave Me a Good Laugh so worth a look? What the Australian Headlines could look like in the Future given the Current Immigration trends?

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world, Little India , formerly known as
Australia …

Tasmania executes last remaining Greenie.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Australia
‘s third language.

Children from 2 parent hetrosexual families bullied in schools for
being ‘different’. Tolerance urged.

Gay Marriages now overtake hetrosexual marriages as preferred
‘lifestyle’ choice.

Kookaburra and platypus plague threatens North Western Australia crops
and livestock.

Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa: Being a Christian
is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales
are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed.
Australian Government have told the Japanese that Cane Toads taste
like whale meat.

Australia now has 10 Universities of Political Correctness. Professor
Goldman of ANU says there is still a long way to go in the fight to
stop people saying what they think.

Australian Deficit 10 $Trillion dollars and rising. Government
declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of
time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through
more immigration secret to success.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super Bank, Goldman Rothschild
Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): We’ll show Congress who is Too big
to fail says CEO. Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic
Countries. … No other country volunteers to come forward to help the
beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US
President in 2032.

Australia Post raises price of stamps to $18 and reduces mail delivery
to Wednesdays only.

After a 10-year, $75.8 billion study: Scientists prove Diet and
exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive
year in Vicindia and New South India .

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Senate still blocking drilling in Canberra even though gas is
selling for 5,000 Rupees per litre and gas stations are only open on
Tuesdays and Fridays.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet,
seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters, and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035
as lethal weapons.

Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Carlton won this years National Footy final beating the Hindu Hornets
20-11 to 13-18

Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory ) voters still having
trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *