Something to make You Laugh on a Friday!!! New Terrorist Security Levels!!!
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon though,
security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even
“A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in
1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized
from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a
“Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the
Bastards”. They don’t have any other levels.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are
“Collaborate” and “Surrender.”
Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to
“Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat
Operations” and “Change Sides.”
The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to
“Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher
levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose”.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out preemptive strikes on all of their
allies, just in case.
New Zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”.
Due to continuing defence cutbacks, New Zealand only has one more level of
escalation, which is “Shit, I hope Australia will come and
Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to
“She’ll be all right, mate”. Three more escalation levels remain, “Crikey!’,
“I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is
cancelled”. So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final